A woman holds a very high status in Islamic faith. She is honored and respected at all times, but many startling transgressions have crept into Islamic practice. These transgressions have been caused by cultural influence that has no basis in Islamic scripture.
Muslims living in the Indian subcontinent have slowly incorporated the act of dowry into their lives. Dowry originated in the upper caste Hindu communities as a wedding gift (cash or valuables) from the bride's family to the groom's family. There is nothing strange or unique about a culture influencing Muslim practice, as it is a common characteristic around the globe that when a new religion spreads in an area, people who live in that area retain some of the customs and traditions which they have been practicing for centuries. There is nothing wrong with this as long as those practices do not contradict Islamic law. The practice of dowry, however, does in fact transgress Islamic law.
We usually use the word gift for something, which we give voluntarily, to a person we like. A gift is something that strengthens the friendship bond between two people. Dowry, which is usually defined as a “gift” given along with the bride, by a bride’s family to the bridegroom, is used as tool of coercion and greed in societies like India. The bride’s family must give this “gift” or the marriage will not take place. Always the price of the dowry is set higher than the bride’s family can afford and sadly, this results in the bride becoming a burden on her family. The bride’s family then struggles to pay the “gift”.
In Islam it is the the man who pays Mahr (dower) to the woman. The following verses in the Qur’an proves that it is the man who is obligated to pay the Mahr (dower) to the woman unless the woman chooses not to take it. But in practive they will give 16 grams in record and demand 160 grams without record as gift.
"And give women (on marriage) their dower (Mahr) as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." (Al-Qur'an : Al-Nisa' :4)
Cultures that demands dowry from the bride’s family, are actually practicing the opposite of what Allah commanded. They have reversed Allah’s words in their practice. The bride is forced to pay a negotiated amount to the groom unless the man chooses not to take it.
When the woman brings less than the negotiated amount, she has to endure constant torture from her in-laws after marriage. When the husband or in-laws are not satisfied with the dowry brought by the bride, they even go to the extent of killing the woman after marriage. The most severe among all the dowry abuse is “bride burning”. The parties engaged in the murder usually report the case as an accident or suicide.
While dowry abuse is most common among Hindus, it is rising among Muslims too. Dowry abuse is rising in the Indian Sub continent despite a Dowry Prohibition Act being passed in 1961. The Indian Ministry of Home Affairs and the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) reports 6,285 dowry deaths in 2003. The official records are always under reported. It is obvious that this crime is under reported, for e.g.: In Delhi 90% of cases of woman being burnt are recorded as accidents, five percent as suicides and only the remaining five percent were shown as murder. The statistics of dowry deaths in whole of India is spine chilling
Many women remain unmarried due to this dowry. Even worse is that, when Muslim men who intend on honoring the Mahr(dower) to the bride, the bride rejects them. The women prefer to remain unmarried rather marrying some one who is not from their culture.
Another practice is that people tend to exchange their sons. In other words, they give a bridegroom (mostly their son) to a girl to be married in exchange for a bridegroom from girl’s family (the bride-to-be’s brother or any unmarried male relative) so that they can have their daughters married without dowry. This places an incredible disadvantage on the parents who have daughters and no sons. The parents of daughters end up giving money to get their daughters married!
It is a sad irony that women (mostly mothers-in-law) end up being the ones who direct oppressive attitudes toward other women (daughters- in-law). Mostly, mothers-in-law-to- be are the ones who demand dowry from the bride’s family and who end up torturing the daughter-in-law after marriage if she brings less than the negotiated amount.
Syed* (35 from Chennai, India) says, “It is difficult to find a bride who would be able afford all that my mom asks…because of this I am still unmarried”
When I asked his mother why she is demanding a dowry from the bride, she said, “We have spent so much on our son, for his education, for raising him and now we will marry him off and most of the money he earns will go to his wife. So she will be benefited from all the money we spent on him. For that they can pay some amount to have our son.”
Ahmed* (29 from Delhi, India) says” I don’t want to take any dowry but can’t stop my parents from asking as I will disrespect them if I do so.”
So in an effort to respect parents and to conform to cultural norms, Muslim youth in India are bending over backwards to follow traditions that aren’t even rooted in Islam. Demanding dowry and getting married may seem valid in the eyes of many, but will the marriage be validated in the eyes of Allah ?
Dowry is purely a matter of culture. One should not feel obliged to continue these unIslamic traditions. If a culture contains unIslamic aspects, then one should not feel any shame to break the culture’s traditional practices.
The practice of dowry has caused Muslims in many parts of the world to continue their prejudices against women despite the Islamic prohibitions against it. In the Indian subcontinent, a woman is considered to be a great burden mainly because of the dowry system. Here, it is common to see people rejoicing over the birth of a son and lamenting over the birth of daughter. In India, the reason why people prefer male children over female children is mainly due to cultural practices such as dowry. Why aren’t people listening to the message of Islam instead of following the customs of others around them?
Allah has given us warning of this in the Qur’an. Allah tells us that infanticide is a grave sin and that favor of one gender over the other has no grounds in Islam.
As Muslims, we should consider, the birth of daughters to be a great blessing. In addition to the Qur’an, the Hadiths also carry the message to value women. Even after birh the most of the mother in laws demant cash or materials from the daughter in laws by doing regular prayers.
Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking me (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet came in and I informed him about this story. He said, "Whoever is in charge of (put to test by) these daughters and treats them generously, then they will act as a shield for him from the (Hell) Fire." [Sahih Bukhari :Volume 8, Book 73, Number 24]
It is so unfortunate to see the people submitting themselves to the dictates of culture than to the will of Allah who is our Creator, Cherisher and the Sustainer.
Islam stresses fairness and kindness. Islam ensures that boys and girls are treated equally. Discrimination between children because of their gender is not advocated in Islam. But practivally mother in laws use to spend most of their loving time with daughter's kid rather than son's.
Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas: I was stricken by an ailment that led me to the verge of death. The Prophet came to pay me a visit. I said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have much property and no heir except my single daughter. Shall I give two-thirds of my property in charity?" He said, "No." I said, "Half of it?" He said, "No." I said, "One-third of it?" He said, "You may do so) though one-third is also to a much, for it is better for you to leave your off-spring wealthy than to leave them poor, asking others for help. [Sahih Bukhari : Volume 8, Book 80, Number 725]
Let us not succumb to the fitanh caused by culture and let us stand firm in practicing Islam by enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong!
Let there arise out of you
A band of people
Inviting to all that is good,
Enjoining what is right,
And forbidding what is wrong:
They are the ones
To attain felicity.'
(Al-Qur'an :Aal-e-Imran : 104)
Similarity in Surnames/Family Names amongst Indian (and Pakistani) Muslims
To gauge the influence of Hinduism one only needs to ask a Khoja or Bohra his name. Names like Allibhai Premji, Abdul Hashim Premji, etc. occur frequently among the Bohras and Khojas. Hindu Surnames occur more frequently among Muslims in general for instance, Chowdhury, Khatri, Patel, Dalwai, Parkar, Munshi, etc.
(These names are being quoted only as proper nouns, any resemblance with actual names of individuals is accidental and not intentional.)
Khoja social functions reveal the surprising presence of Hindu customs. For instance during a Khoja wedding a coconut is used as an auspicious fruit. In Maharashtra, Muslim women from the Konkan region even wear the Mangal Sutra after wedding. The wearing of flowers, (forbidden in Islam) by Muslim women is a common Hindu custom carried on by the converts.
Idolatary amongst Indian (and Pakistani) Muslims:
Islam denounces idolatory, but in India we have cults like Saibaba in Maharashtra where Muslims worship a personified saint alongwith the Hindus. This apart the more common practice of flocking to pilgrimages to Mazhars, (tombs) of saints like Salim Chisti exists generally among Indian Muslims only. Worship at personal tombs is but one step behind worshipping personified deities. Flowers are offered at these Mazhars the pilgrims shower
Flowers, a custom which smack of borrowings from Hindu customs. Even the custom of spreading a sheet (chaddar) of flowers is an Indian adaptation of an Islamic custom. In other Islamic countries such sheets are made of silk and satin (like the one spread over the Kaaba), only in India are flowers used.
Fakirs, Sufis, Pirs - The Muslim Sanyasis:
The Muslim practice of Sufism embodied in the many Pirs, Sufis and Fakirs emphasizes on universal brotherhood . Although Sufism seems to have originated in Iran, Sufism in India has an unmistakable influence of the Hindu practices of Yoga, Pranayam and the concept of Sanayasa with its Sanyasis, Sadhus and Rishis. Interestingly the Sufis and Fakirs undertake exercises derived from the Hindu discipline of Yoga. In fact all through the middle ages up to the present age their have been many Babas (saints) who are Muslims, but attract both Hindu and Muslim disciples.
Dress Styles amongst Indian (and Pakistani) Muslims:
Even at the purely social level there have been common elements in the dress-styles of Hindus and Muslims. Muslim women still largely wear the saree, especially so in the rural areas. Even in some Muslim communities the Dhoti is worn by the males . The Punjabi dress of Hindus of the north is borrowed from the Muslims (though it had earlier been brought into India by the pre-Islamic Shakas and Kushanas. The Ghagara worn by women in north India is a unique blend of Hindu and Muslim dress styles. The wearing of bangles, bracelets, ear and nose Rings is a custom borrowed by the Muslim women from their Hindu counterparts.
Hindustani Music and Kathak - An amalgam of Bharatamuni and Arabic-Persian Dance Styles:
Even the Moghal rulers patronized the intermixing of Indian and mid-eastern dance styles. The Lucknavi Kathak is an admixture of the originally Indian Kathak (which is typified today by the style of the Jaipuri Gharanaa or Jaipuri School). While the Lucknavi Gharana has many elements of mid-eastern and central Asian dance styles. Music has been another area where a fusion has taken place under official patronage. Many Ragas (metres' and Swaras (tunes) of Hindustani classical music are a result of the amalgam of Hindu and mid-eastern musical traditions.
Caste amongst Indian (and Pakistani) Muslims:
Even the Indian caste system has proved to be indelible to the Islamic touch. Indian Muslims still refer to themselves as Rajputs Jats, Gujjars, lebbai, thakani, Maraikkar etc. and caste considerations are present during match-making. Thus we can see that though Islam was spread by the sword and it acted as an exorcist to redeem the newly won adherents from the influence of their original religions, quite a few traces of pre-Islamic culture did manage to seep into the lifestyle and consciousness of the Indian converts to Islam.
Non Muslims joint with muslims for Muharram:
Non Muslims joined Muslims in celebrating Muharram or Allah Sami pandikai and reveled in the fire walking ceremony, the wearging of masks and participating in tomb cults theat would accorrding to orthodox criteria be in the words of an official violative of the priniciples of Islam.
In Tamil Nadu Muslims and Kammalans called earch other MANI (uncle).
Muslims addressed Pallans as 'GRANDSON'or 'GRAND DAUGHTER'.
tOTTIYANS AND MUSLIMS ADDRESSED ONE ANOTHER AS 'maman or maternal uncle'.
Goldsmiths and Muslims called each other CHITTHAPPA.
In the name of Burga to hide the body to avoid attracting men, women start to wear costly, designed, attractive, tight fit eye catching modern burga with open face for direct eye contact to any men. The regular praying Haji husbands are so busy to buy this type of burgas to their loving wifes from costly malls are becoming normal after their entry in to Gulf for their personal need.
Animal Sacrifice:
Any special function like birth of baby, ageing female, marriage, death, special days on 10th day 40th day and one year after birth and death Animal sacrifice with Hen or Goat ( கோழி ஆடு ) are very comman with mullas.
We can see Indian Islamic woman who wear veil 
